Sonnettics

I want to live a life of love and joy
I used to live without their precious hope
I know I said “I’m just a stupid boy”
But “stupid boy” is just a slippery slope!
Directionless, I often fuck things up
Like sailing through the night without the stars
Like putting tea into a coffee cup
I tend to try to make “my” tempest “ours”
You’re patient when you teach me of the path
And of the way to follow where it leads
I still regret the messy aftermath
Of spilling out my life with my misdeeds
You’ve shown me how to clean, and not to spill
To find the love and joy of life. I will!

She felt so warm; I tried to understand
Her hand was soft; her voice was soft and sweet
So much of my life now has been unplanned
I sat, but didn’t know that we would meet
So warm a girl was beautiful and nice
I wondered if my hand was warm to her
Her daughter made me smile, not once, but twice
I hoped that my intentions weren’t obscure
She felt like more than poetry to me
We shared our pain, we shared compassion too
The moment wasn’t awkward; we were free
I wish I had some wishes that she knew
Warm Stranger, I would love to know you more
You may be what a second chance is for.

I wanted her to wait, and yet I knew
Uncertainty would take her where it would
I saw her off; she faded from my view
I thought our love was simply understood
Oh, I thought our love was simply understood

But fate could give a damn what things we want
It took her far away; now I’m alone
We felt each other, almost like a taunt
We loved each other, but we should have known
that separation always has a cost
we may not want to pay, and yet we must
She journeyed far away; our love was lost
regardless of our faith and of our trust
But if her journey brings her back to me
I’ll hold her tight, as close as we can be.

It’s over now, I know’cuz I can feel
her missing skin and hear her quiet breath
I can’t imagine anything as real
as lying by her side; alone is death
Come put me in a grave, alone and cold
It’s just the same as how I feel today
I’m just a story no one ever told
Alone, I’m words that she will never say
It’s dark, and I remember when the light
revealed my lover’s beauty, like the dawn
By her, the world was golden, warm, and bright
But now I lie awake and she is gone
I feel my lover, soft within my heart
I hope she feels me now that we’re apart.

It’s over now; it’s hard to say, she said
It’s over now; what we once had is dead
It’s over now; I’ve gotta live somehow
I’m tired, but I just want it over now.

This is a sonnet series I am working on for a ballad.

A. The old distant lover (previously discovered)
B. The new distant lover (just discovered)
C. My POV
D. Her POV

1. I’m alone
2. I see you
3. I try to talk myself out of you because of the distance
4. You get closer
5. We meet
6. Why are you still moving away?
7. You like me, but you have to keep moving
8. I try to talk you out of moving away
9. I try to talk you into staying still for me

10. She falls into me (or not)
11. She falls away from what she was moving for (or not)

I saw the sun explode behind the trees
At dusk, before I dragged myself to bed.
I felt a surge of promised distant peace,
But something else slipped in my weary head.

Perhaps the shade of purple in the cloud
The sun had touched was just one shade too dark.
Perhaps the distant rain fell like a shroud
Upon some distant lovers in some park.

I know the vision that my eyes beheld
Was missed by many others on that night,
As all the highest joys the scene compelled
Collapsed before the sun withdrew his light.

From where I stood such beauty should be clear
Unless it was refracted by a tear.

This is the one David and I are working on. He crafted a nice melody. I’ll post it as soon as I can.

There’s time for one more glass of Riesling wine
as time begins to fade into the taste
of complicated sweetness we define
in timelessness, devoid of bitter haste.
Aromas gather slowly in the dim
of twilight of the presence of the thought
of lips that linger lightly on the brim
of sweetness and the essences now caught:
the musk of sunlight captured in the skin
of fruit from fertile vineyards far away,
the tang of inspiration from within
a bottled soul, consumed like night by day.

Chorus

I drink my love and lose my self control
The bouqet of her kiss is mine, all mine
I taste her in my mouth and in my soul
The way I like to taste a noble wine
The soft and subtle glow of nurtured bliss
compels her to release a Riesling kiss.

I only want to let myself release
Against your loving skin, within your heart
Where I will feel the beauty of our peace
I never want to be too far apart
Ironically, release will need Control
Control will be my guide, will take my hand
In comfort she will lead my longing soul
To life within release’s promised land
Relaxed, I rest within your tenderness
At last, I’ve found the place where I belong
The place where to your will, I acquiesce
The place where I can sing my lover’s song
Released from all constraints, at last I’m free
Released into the realms of you and me.

I love to hear my words, within her voice
They sound like something more than what I write
The way she reads is more than just her choice
I love it, that it’s different, but it’s right
I’m still my song, my pulse, my turn, my scheme
And yet, she’s not constricted as she reads
It’s more than just a vision, or a dream
There’s things within my dreams my muse exceeds
She brings perspective that I’d never see
She makes me see my sonnets through her eyes
It may not be the way I want to be
But she can see right through my words’ disguise
My Muse can say my words and make them more
Than just the words of some sonnettic whore!

Original:

I love to hear my words, within her voice
They sound like something more than what I write
The way she reads is more than just her choice
I love it, that it’s different, but it’s right
I’m still my song, my pulse, my turn, my scheme
And yet, she’s not constricted as she reads
It’s more than just a vision, or a dream
There’s things I never knew my muse exceeds
She brings perspective that I’d never see
She makes me see my sonnets through her eyes
It may not be the way I want to be
But she can see right through my words’ disguise
My Muse can say my words and make them more
Than just the words of some sonnettic whore!

I’ll catch her if she falls in love with me
Like gardens catch the rain they need to grow
But when she falls, it’s more than gravity
She chooses what she wants with what she knows
Like water, she is flexible and pure
Like water, she surrounds my thirsty roots
Absorbing her, my needs are not obscure
I need her, with my other absolutes
And so I catch her gently in my arms
And know that my protection wakes her trust
Like rescue is proceeded by alarms
Or heat proceeds when flamables combust!
I hope she falls in love, but isn’t scared
I’ve waited long to catch her; I’m prepared!