Author Archive

Love Limerick

Sunday, December 11th, 2022
I once held your hand in my own
True love wasn’t something I’d known
The warmth would suffice
Like a virtuous vice
Like love could be something we’d grown.

The Philosophy of Beer

Thursday, December 8th, 2022

Helen of Kirkconnel

Wednesday, December 7th, 2022

Santa Bitch

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022
At Christmas a young man named Mitch
Was given some coal and a switch
He’d asked for some porn
He cried out, forlorn:
“This sucks! Santa Claus is a Bitch!”

Limericks

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022

Some of you may have noticed the fact that I have devolved from writing sonnets lately, to indulging in limerick writing. It’s probably just a phase.

Enjoy.

Salome

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022

Boy Scouts Will Be Boy Scouts

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022
· 
By the scout camp a river ran near
Where girls skinny-dipped without fear
Two scouts on a hike
One Fred and one Mike
Climbed a rock: “You can see ‘em from here!”

The Benefits of Ganja

Sunday, December 4th, 2022
Green bud can make smoke bluish-gray
Just inhale and then blow it away
Your head will be clear
And you won’t need to hear
The stuff stuffy people will say.

Dog On A Goat

Saturday, December 3rd, 2022
There once was a dumb dog that tried
On the back of a farm goat to ride
The goat jumped and bucked
‘Til the doggy got chucked
So a rodeo might be implied.

The Cherub

Friday, December 2nd, 2022
There once was a cherub, undressed
Who did what he always thought best
He climbed up a tree
And leaned in to see
The music that came from the nest!