Sonnettics

Thanksgiving day is over and I’m full
of turkey, taters, stuffing, pumpkin pie
I’d hate to be the one who has to pull
my wagon with me in it, my oh my!
I like Thanksgiving, but it’s not the best
There is a day that’s better in the year
Thanksgiving is okay from east to west
and yet a better day is almost here!
The day is called Thanksgetting. Yeah! You bet!
I’ve heard some call it christmas; that sounds lame
Thanksgetting is the day that I can get
whatever toy I want, whatever game
Thanksgetting morning comes and I can see
my presents under my Thanksgetting tree!

Afraid of who I am, I try to hide
Afraid that I might find myself, I turn
to that which I’ve avoided, deep inside:
Emotions in my psyche, where I learn
that what I feel for others is a part
of where my brain is bruised, of where I go
to tell myself I really have a heart
although it hurts that I don’t really know
And so I feel a loss that makes me sad
It turns upon itself, consumes the bulk
of everything I feel I could have had
I cry; I rub my eyes, and then I sulk
I cannot hide my tears, they’re on display
regardless of the pain I wipe away.

I kiss the neck of Gwyneth, off the screen
and know my lips have found the middle place
My mouth descends to taste the flesh between
her breasts, then move above to kiss her face
Three kisses, Gwyneth, starting with your neck
are worth more than a story on a stage
If Shakespeare tried to write it, I would wreck
the Globe and every word on every page
I do not hate the Bard, but I can see
not even Shakespeare’s words are worth the kiss
on Gwyneth’s skin, like petals feel to me
when I imagine roses look like this:
Like Gwyneth in a dress that’s like a vase
which holds a beauty nothing can replace.

Dismiss me now; convenience says you must
Don’t let the neighbors know of how you love
a horny schoolboy, lost in passion’s lust
be cruel to me by accusations of
some indecisive sonnets; mock my verse
I don’t deserve you lover; I’m not whole
My body broke; my brain was broken worse
when I collided with a car, my goal
to please my Ali broke as well, it seems
I can’t believe you kissed my mouth again
Your kisses and your love devolved to dreams
My Love Forever must have missed you then
Forgive me Ali for the wrong I’ve done
I love you Ali, and I love our son.

Like me, she knows perfection is a myth
and yet we love each other without guile
Of all the “perfect” women I’ve been with
I’d trade them all to see my Lover’s smile
I love it when she laughs, but she can cry
There’s laughter and there’s tears in every life
We have no expectations, but we try
to help each other overcome all strife
We also share the happiness of joy
I like to share successes with my friend
I’m glad my friend and I are girl-and-boy
Our kisses make us warm and help us mend
our hearts, if they are broken, bruised, or cracked.
Since I’ve known her, my kisses haven’t lacked.

Your eyes have seen my eyes and I am sure
you knew what you were seeing when they met
My thoughts, reflected thus, weren’t always pure
I still remember yours; I can’t forget
the way you watched me walk toward you one night
and how the lighting shined so I could see
your eyes from where I was, within your sight
and how your eyes saw nothing else but me
I saw you blink and then I saw you smile
I smiled back and wondered if your blink
included me. I hoped you liked my style
Although I won’t admit, you made me think
that you were well aware of what I thought
and only blinked because I had been caught.

Each night before I sleep I hear your voice
and wish that I could feel your spoken breath
Imagination fills the lesser choice
for now. My second life began with death
I still remember life before I died
I knew you in my first life, missed the chance
For that it was a waste; I should have tried
to be your lover when my circumstance
consisted of my body in your car
consisted of your car outside my place
the night we touched in slow-dance at the bar
the night you longed for more than my embrace
The past is past; my second life is this:
fullfilment of my chances, like your kiss.

She gave me Prufrock; made me eat it whole
With her it seemed like poets played a game
When I composed; she knew I’d sold my soul
And still she had the guts to call my name
We listened to the Irish lyricise
the English language. Bono and The Edge
performed the duty, like an exercise
then sang and danced while standing on the ledge
We thought they’d fall like many had before
she questioned why we listened to the band
I climbed a staircase to an open door
and made damn sure I held so I could stand
I stood and watched the muses come and go
They gave me lines to write from down below

From Gypsy Beach we’d swim across the lake
Then back toward the park, the grassy field
When I return to Syracuse I’ll make
a pilgrimage to where we once concealed
our bodies in the darkness, on the grass
near Gypsy Beach, my appetite became
the hunger for a handful of your ass!
We watched the moon and stars; we felt no shame
The parking lot was empty, but one car
turned off the road, for what? His lights were on
We held each other still. My god, you are
the place I’d love to hide all night ’til dawn
At Gypsy Beach our wetsuits kept us warm
but only when we swam; that was the norm.

She’s seen me next to dead and I’ve seen her
more beautiful than vibrancy in Spring
When life is love all problems are obscure
If Mari is a song, I want to sing
She gave me “Love Forever,” now I know
Forever is a feeling not a time
I love her love and hope that I can show
my love for her in more than simple rhyme
We share a bond transcending life and death
I’ve never felt more spiritual than now
Eternity exists in every breath
like “Love Forever,” each a solemn vow
I’ll breathe my love forever if I must
to give my Mari something she can trust.