Sonnettics

Be real and I will gladly share your heart
I’ve had enough of fantasy and pain
Come hold my hand, be passionate, impart
your soul to me and I will not complain
of all that shit I used to say was me
like mold that ruins food we want to eat
I only want a friend who’d rather be
with how I was when I was whole, complete
I’m so naive to think there was a time
when nothing in my life required change
When every poem that I wrote would rhyme
Come show me life that we can rearrange
The prince is fast asleep, he needs your kiss
Reality with you would bring me bliss.

I wanted her to wait, and yet I knew
Uncertainty would take me where it would
She saw me off; I faded from her view
I didn’t want to journey if I could
But fate could give a damn what things we want
It took me far away and all alone
We felt each other, almost like a taunt
We loved each other, but we should have known
that separation always has a cost
we may not want to pay, and yet we must
I journeyed from my Love, and I was lost
regardless of my faith and of my trust
Now, if my journey brings me back to her
I’ll never leave again; she can be sure.

I wear my scars where nobody can see
They saved my life by cutting in my chest
My scars are on both sides, in symmetry
They drained misguided blood. I never guessed
my ribs could break and penetrate my lungs
Or that I would be saved; my death seemed timed
My life became a ladder and it’s rungs
became the pain I felt, and yet I climbed
My foot was ripped, it hung below my leg
They put it back with metal plates and screws
My brain was scrambled like it was an egg
I like to think I’ve paid all of my dues.
And if you want to see the scars I hide
Just lift my shirt, and please ignore my pride.

There is no sleep tonight; I seek my sun
I will not close my eyes; I will not miss
the end of night when morning has begun
Her light, her warmth are given like a kiss
I’d be a fool to substitute her touch
for something less; it wouldn’t be as real
It’s dark, but I will never suffer much
And so I’ll wait, and so I’ll get to feel
Celestial gifts of warmth, of love, of light
My world will turn and put me in her rays
It may be dark, but soon it will be bright
My nights will all be followed by her days
My sun brings warmth and love to all I see:
my world, my night, my sky, and yes, to me.

I know her life is not the life she’d choose
And yet her choices brought her to this day
The game of life is not a game to lose
The dice are cold and all of us must play
But in her voice I heard the warmth of hope
And that is how I know that she will win
She’s not content to sit and merely cope
with someone else’s rules; her thoughts begin
to clarify her mind and move her heart
into a life where everything is new
where she can have a second chance to start
Where every sky she sees is brilliant blue.
And every choice she makes compels belief
that life is more than just a random thief.

My love is not dependent on your love
No matter what you do, you have my heart
Like poetry I write, my thoughts are of
the metaphoric fruit that’s sweet and tart.
It fills my mouth with juice, and yet I thirst
I want the fruit; it nourishes my soul
Without the fruit, my hunger is the worst
of any pain I’ve felt; I won’t extol
the fruit for how it tastes; of course it’s good
By good, I mean the best, no matter what
They say I shouldn’t eat it, but I should
I want it all, so I would never cut
the metaphoric fruit; the fruit is you
I want you whole, no matter what you do.

It burns within my chest, within my head
Emotional response to being hurt
I’m angry that I almost wound up dead
And now they give me drugs so I’m inert
Well, fuck the meds; I’ll PRN the lot
I’m Ironman and more, and so I still
Can swim, can bike, can run; it’s what I’ve got
And yes, I want to win; and yes, I will
My arrogance is mine; it’s who I am
I’ll kick your ass in any race you name
You won last year?  I couldn’t give a damn
I rested all last year; I’ll run you lame
That burning in my chest will fuel me on
I’ll pass your sorry ass, then I’ll be gone!

The weeds were all around and yet she grew
She stretched her gorgeous petals in the air
I stopped and smelled her fragrance, but I knew
The weeds would block the sun and bring despair
Her roots are strong and deep; the weeds’ are not
Her colors are all bright, the weeds are dark
She should have grown within a flower plot
Or in a place protected, like a park
It rains and she is nourished through her root
With rain the weeds are easy to extract
The seeds she dropped have sprouted; they are cute
In time the weeds will disappear, in fact:
The joy her fragrant beauty brings her field
will grow her sprouts; the weeds will have to yield.

The noise of life compels my mouth to drink
I used to kiss, but now my love is gone
My brain’s a cliff; my thoughts are on the brink
I feel the danger when my breath is drawn
I’d turn and run, but I’ve forgotten how 
and if I tried to leap my legs would freeze
The sweat is cold upon my sacred brow
I want to find a warmth that I can please.
The words that fill my head are strange to me
I’d sing, but I’ve forgotten ev’ry tune
I wish my thoughts were something I could see
and each decision moved me more than soon.
I like the silent thoughts; they feel like wine
I’ll drink until I feel the thoughts are mine.

This world contains no simple metaphors
Perfection is a mine that has no gold
At times our progress comes through bitter wars
At times we know our stories won’t be told
This world is life; it ends with death and pain
This life begins with beauty in our birth
We fill our lives with love, our life’s refrain
Our choruses are words that tell our worth 
The way we treat each other is the way
Our lives become a symphony, a song
There is no grand conductor to obey
We hear each other’s tunes and sing along.
Compose a life of beauty and you’ll find
this world becomes the volta you’ve designed.