Sonnettics

I wanted her to wait, and yet I knew
Uncertainty would take her where it would
I saw her off; she faded from my view
I thought our love was simply understood
Oh, I thought our love was simply understood

But fate could give a damn what things we want
It took her far away; now I’m alone
We felt each other, almost like a taunt
We loved each other, but we should have known
that separation always has a cost
we may not want to pay, and yet we must
She journeyed far away; our love was lost
regardless of our faith and of our trust
But if her journey brings her back to me
I’ll hold her tight, as close as we can be.

It’s over now, I know’cuz I can feel
her missing skin and hear her quiet breath
I can’t imagine anything as real
as lying by her side; alone is death
Come put me in a grave, alone and cold
It’s just the same as how I feel today
I’m just a story no one ever told
Alone, I’m words that she will never say
It’s dark, and I remember when the light
revealed my lover’s beauty, like the dawn
By her, the world was golden, warm, and bright
But now I lie awake and she is gone
I feel my lover, soft within my heart
I hope she feels me now that we’re apart.

It’s over now; it’s hard to say, she said
It’s over now; what we once had is dead
It’s over now; I’ve gotta live somehow
I’m tired, but I just want it over now.

This is a sonnet series I am working on for a ballad.

A. The old distant lover (previously discovered)
B. The new distant lover (just discovered)
C. My POV
D. Her POV

1. I’m alone
2. I see you
3. I try to talk myself out of you because of the distance
4. You get closer
5. We meet
6. Why are you still moving away?
7. You like me, but you have to keep moving
8. I try to talk you out of moving away
9. I try to talk you into staying still for me

10. She falls into me (or not)
11. She falls away from what she was moving for (or not)

I saw the sun explode behind the trees
At dusk, before I dragged myself to bed.
I felt a surge of promised distant peace,
But something else slipped in my weary head.

Perhaps the shade of purple in the cloud
The sun had touched was just one shade too dark.
Perhaps the distant rain fell like a shroud
Upon some distant lovers in some park.

I know the vision that my eyes beheld
Was missed by many others on that night,
As all the highest joys the scene compelled
Collapsed before the sun withdrew his light.

From where I stood such beauty should be clear
Unless it was refracted by a tear.

This is the one David and I are working on. He crafted a nice melody. I’ll post it as soon as I can.

There’s time for one more glass of Riesling wine
as time begins to fade into the taste
of complicated sweetness we define
in timelessness, devoid of bitter haste.
Aromas gather slowly in the dim
of twilight of the presence of the thought
of lips that linger lightly on the brim
of sweetness and the essences now caught:
the musk of sunlight captured in the skin
of fruit from fertile vineyards far away,
the tang of inspiration from within
a bottled soul, consumed like night by day.

Chorus

I drink my love and lose my self control
The bouqet of her kiss is mine, all mine
I taste her in my mouth and in my soul
The way I like to taste a noble wine
The soft and subtle glow of nurtured bliss
compels her to release a Riesling kiss.

I only want to let myself release
Against your loving skin, within your heart
Where I will feel the beauty of our peace
I never want to be too far apart
Ironically, release will need Control
Control will be my guide, will take my hand
In comfort she will lead my longing soul
To life within release’s promised land
Relaxed, I rest within your tenderness
At last, I’ve found the place where I belong
The place where to your will, I acquiesce
The place where I can sing my lover’s song
Released from all constraints, at last I’m free
Released into the realms of you and me.

I love to hear my words, within her voice
They sound like something more than what I write
The way she reads is more than just her choice
I love it, that it’s different, but it’s right
I’m still my song, my pulse, my turn, my scheme
And yet, she’s not constricted as she reads
It’s more than just a vision, or a dream
There’s things within my dreams my muse exceeds
She brings perspective that I’d never see
She makes me see my sonnets through her eyes
It may not be the way I want to be
But she can see right through my words’ disguise
My Muse can say my words and make them more
Than just the words of some sonnettic whore!

Original:

I love to hear my words, within her voice
They sound like something more than what I write
The way she reads is more than just her choice
I love it, that it’s different, but it’s right
I’m still my song, my pulse, my turn, my scheme
And yet, she’s not constricted as she reads
It’s more than just a vision, or a dream
There’s things I never knew my muse exceeds
She brings perspective that I’d never see
She makes me see my sonnets through her eyes
It may not be the way I want to be
But she can see right through my words’ disguise
My Muse can say my words and make them more
Than just the words of some sonnettic whore!

I’ll catch her if she falls in love with me
Like gardens catch the rain they need to grow
But when she falls, it’s more than gravity
She chooses what she wants with what she knows
Like water, she is flexible and pure
Like water, she surrounds my thirsty roots
Absorbing her, my needs are not obscure
I need her, with my other absolutes
And so I catch her gently in my arms
And know that my protection wakes her trust
Like rescue is proceeded by alarms
Or heat proceeds when flamables combust!
I hope she falls in love, but isn’t scared
I’ve waited long to catch her; I’m prepared!

The greatest things I strive for must be real
Superlatives are only what I seek
All things I touch, or see, or hear, or feel
Must go beyond the simple words I speak
Let’s call the sum of heart and mind, my soul
It helps to set a universal stage
It doesn’t mean we have complete control
But lets us start upon a common page
I want the best, the greatest life to live
And thus, I think I know the path to choose
I need to find the gift that I would give
The gift that I would never want to lose
The gift called Beauty is the greatest great
It’s only Beauty that the gods create.

Abandonment is beautiful, serene
It must be; I’m abandoned all the time
[Insert iambic words that sound obscene]
Abandonment is kind of like slant rhyme
I hope she finds a guy who brings her joy
I hope she wins the race she values most
I hope she’s happy with our little boy
I hope she won’t succumb to my old ghost
And when her heart is ripped, right from her chest
By beautiful, serene abandonment
Obscenity will serve the purpose best
She’ll feel it in the poetry I sent
The beautiful serenity is mine
It’s perfect, like a couplet’s perfect rhyme.