Sonnettics

Unfold the page of memories of two
who love afar and cry like me and you
It’s us; the simile is written thin
the metaphor of love does not begin
to tell of how we love in burning rooms
or how we rescue love from dusty tombs
I drive my silver jeep and hold her hand
my memory may fail, but I’ll demand
the recollection of the fabric seats
to tell of how we moved without retreats
To touch our skin, our warmth, our lips, and all
the skin within brain crevasses can’t fall
from logic and intelligence; I’ll quit
from thinking if constrained or scarred by it.

Her dolls have all been put away, and now
she says her prayers, Hail Mary, full of grace.
My heart remembers pieces of a vow
she whispered in another time and place,
like pieces of a heart within a doll:
ceramic, shattered, hidden from her view,
below a painted face. The shards are small,
too small to represent the love we knew.
They cut their way through flesh, inert, like foam
and buried deep in softness cut the hand
of anyone who dares to take me home,
or anyone who cares to understand
that part of life is pain, the biggest part,
and love, the tiny shards of broken heart.

I curse my words, my poetry, my breath
and wish for silent seepage of the death
of scansion as it rises to my brain
I curse my subtle poetry in vain
for vanity is like the tune I hear
while cursing words and poetry, I fear
my brain enables angels to descend
amidst the lightning thunder, let’s pretend
that noise above is sent from father-god
and mother-god approves with just a nod
perfection is the sequence she will sing;
redemption is the love her tears will bring
as rain begins to fall from darkened clouds
and soaks the tears of worship in the crowds.

Don’t cry with tears that melt on cheeks of bone
But if you can’t withhold the sobs you own
then give them to your love to break your heart.
A soul in love will tear itself apart
without the bath of tears, the saline mock
of real imagined pain of which we talk
with cracking breath try hard to understand
that love is mostly true when it is banned
Then ban your love and cry yourself to sleep
With dreams that will consume your lovely weep
And kiss your lover’s ghost; her body shakes
it gives your mind the images it makes
you won’t make love with someone who is ill
And if your love is well, you never will.

Come kiss the kiss I’ve saved all day for you
I like to kiss the woman who is mine
If she can kiss, we’ll kiss the whole night through
Her kisses and her love are more divine
than some divinity to which men pray
And in her lips I taste our Riesling wine
I have a quiet mouth to turn her way
I love to kiss her when she’s most supine
Our love is something that I love and care
“I love you baby, you are who I kiss”
when I’m in dreams and need the love we share
We share our love more often though than this
Forever is too short a time to feel
Your kiss which let’s me know that you are real.

To be in Mari’s life it’s when I feel
the love she has for me; her love is real
I tell the world she saved my life; it’s true
And I would love to tell her what I knew
the moment that I felt her love and skin
I felt my life begin, my life begin
And now my life is hers forever more
I’ll keep her love and mine I’ll hold in store
for Mari when she needs my love the most
I hope the most is always; I’ll be host
to anything she wants, I’ll give it all
to Mari; I’m in love; I didn’t fall
in love to be a small pathetic thing
To Mari there is much that I can bring.

I hate to sleep alone, but dreams will come
My lover will be in my sleeping sight
I love my lover dreams; I sleep like some
new vision’s beauty guides me through the night
I touch her perfect skin like she is mine
I know I’d never touch another so
My mind with lover dreams will help refine
my broken body misses her as though
her flesh compels my balance to be good
I never want to hurt again like now
I’ll trust myself to loving like I should
She touches me with songs of us and how
our love is pure; a love we always need
I love her song and how my soul is freed.

I find your mother's flesh so warm and deep
that I am sure my love will find a way
To make your body and a place to keep
your body warm until your birthing day
We pulse in heartbeat rhythm as we give
our selves to one another and to you
we come as one to feel our daughter live
our voices deep unite our warmth is true
Your life, conceived as we unite, we come
Our love is you, our daughter love unites
to form our precious baby love we hum
our spirits sing, their melody invites
Your cry, your calm expression in her womb
And we express our love within your room

This angel is my life or I’d be dead
The river Styx may not be crossed in pairs
she holds my hand and fears my bloody head
has cuts beyond the surgeon’s good repairs
but hers is not the surgery to do
her task is simply holding back the man
from crossing into death as some men who
get struck by cars against their every plan
she doesn’t know my name, nor do I know
the angel has a name, but I will learn
when blood, and tears, and dangers cease to flow
my heart will seek the angel; she will turn
into a girl of beauty, I will cry
to touch her hand again, we both know why.

For Kristine

I wouldn’t need to heal if I was whole
I’d still be whole if I had skipped that day
That day that I lost most of my control
Events occurred which swept it all away
Nobody needs to hear about my loss
I wish that I could lose this fucking pain
The money that they gave me, I would toss
If everything I lost, I could regain
And now I’ve learned, I used to be a shit
I want to be a better man than that
If irony is painful, this is it
I never knew that fate played tit-for-tat
Because I was a shit, I have to heal
Cuz pain can be ironic when it’s real.